We Are One: Who's the Judge?

We Are One: Who's the Judge?
Excerpt:

Identify the Judge

Like many abuse survivors I have this hideous horrible tape that plays in my head.  Part of counseling is confronting where this negativity comes from.  How did I came to have such a poor self image?  When my DH suggested it was my mother, I denied it angrily.  No way...not my mother.  Then KavinCoach said the same thing, I started to doubt what I thought I knew.  Then I watched my mother in action with someone else....kind of a fly on the wall distorted reality when all the pieces come together.  I understood.  Every compliment contained an insult.  Ever insult carried a barb...becoming healthy, I identified my judge.  I recognized how I internalized the never ending lists of how to correct me into the person she wanted.  Nobody warned me that the most devastating part of counseling was the total collaspe of the house of lies and distortions that was my childhood.   My happy childhood vanished under the onslaught of truth.  The truth denied me when I was a child.  I remember telling.  I remember questioning.  I remember not understanding...