The Gnomes Have Returned

The only way to read a book of aphorisms without being bored is to open it at random and, having found something that interests you, close the book and ‘meditate’.

·        mystery: …active mystery, mysticism, mystic…or…folly, illusion, magical spin…surrealism, magical realism… quhasaeuer….

·        It’s them eyes of his’n…they’s always lookin’ at you…or ‘in the blender’—the ‘new’[?] modus operandi:

“The gnomes have returned from under the ‘toad stool’, Hopkins.” 

“What’s that you say, Watson?”  

“The gnomes…”

“What about ‘em?  Speak up, man!”

“Well, they’ve brought all those aphoristic rolls with them.  They didn’t even bother to dust them off!  I saw them ‘in the library’ with a blender!”

“A library!  A blender?  Well, where was the librarian?  They should put a stop to this…this …triviation…!  And need I remind you, Watson, the correct term is ‘codex’, not rolls..Tell me, now, what went into the blender?”

“I was horrified, Hopkins, they actually tore pages from the books…encyclopedias, Bibles, novels…every kind…then stuffed them into the blender…and out came this…gooey mess…”

Terror in his eyes and voice Hopkins was barely able to speak in a whisper:

“Watson, what library was it? What are they doing with the …‘goo’?”

Watson peered across the table light specked with dust particles highlighting their table and in a barely audible whisper answered:  “This one, Hopkins…”, his voice choking. After the deconstruction from the blender they re-glue the bits and pieces to a sheet of blank paper and where there are ‘blanks’ or ‘torn edges’ they patch them with letters and symbols as if poured out of carafes.”

“Centos?  They are replacing the works in the library with ‘patchwork’ word quilts?  God help us, Watson!”

        [Chorus…it seems a new patch on an old garment, a purpureus pannus…]

“Well, Hopkins, the advertising age has hit the slopes, that’s what.  Maxims, slogans, perjorations, epigrams, and salutations.  But ‘in the blender’!  It’s irreverent, blasphemous, disrespectful!  Under ‘Aphorisms’ are…

•           Book of Proverbs

•           Chiasmus

•           Cliché

•           Ecclesiastes

•           Wisdom of Sirach

•           Epigram

•           Gospel of Thomas

•           Greguería

•           Maxim

•           Proverb

•           Pseudo-Phocylides

•           Sūtra:  Literally it means a thread or line that holds things together and is derived from the verbal root siv-, meaning to sew[1] (these words, including Latin suere and English to sew, all ultimately deriving from PIE *siH-/syuH- 'to sew'), as does the medical term "suture."

No codification rules, definitely deficient a priori (except one: be certain to not have any ‘a priori’), equate all in typographic ‘list’ as that above where there is a hint of ‘equal’ worth among the writings in the list.”

“Watson, stop! Pig slop…that’s what it is. No line drawn in the sand.”

[Chorus…in many cultures, including Samuel Johnson's England, many East and Southeast Asian societies, and throughout the world, the ability to spontaneously produce aphoristic sayings at exactly the right moment is a key determinant of social status. Many societies have traditional sages or culture heroes to whom aphorisms are commonly attributed, such as the Seven Sages of Greece, Confucius or King Solomon.

Misquoted or misadvised aphorisms are frequently used as a source of humour; for instance, wordplays of aphorisms appear in the works of P. G. Wodehouse, Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. Aphorisms being misquoted by sports players, coaches, and commentators form the basis of Private Eye's Colemanballs section.]

“Humour? Word plays?” 

“Hopkins…I recall a conversation in a stroll through Oxford:

…"Sometimes however," said Middleton "one does imagine a quotation to be a whole when it is only a part. The effect is curious. I think what I mean would be explained by what you were saying. I have noticed sometimes this effect with regard to those quotations and tags of poetry and so on one sees added to the titles of pictures in the catalogue…”

“Yes, Watson, I remember that, too.  There were fiery debates on what ‘aesthetics’ had become.  The usual frenzy against any sort of absolutism. Then that dark mixing of theosophy and ‘inspiration’ spread its slithering ink everywhere.  Still see it continually morphing into surrealism, magical realism, and aphorism. Many never consider the need for or responsibility of ascertaining the source of inspiration.  Others are well aware of the source and repudiate it.”